Mother threatens to disinvite brother-in-law from family vacation if he doesn’t quit picking on her 9-year-old and 16-year-old kids: ‘He has to stop NOW or he’s not coming’

Author image for Lana DeGaetano
Lana DeGaetano • "Show me to me please."
Apr 5, 2025 2:00 PM EDT

Family dynamics are easy to control when it's your family that you're dealing with. When it comes to your in-laws, it's a whole different ball game. You never truly feel comfortable calling them out on their wrongdoings and hope they'll realize the error of their ways before they require your very hesitant, probably way too kind intervention. Sometimes, though, you have to do what you have to do—especially if your children are getting the short end of the stick from your spouse's relatives. Nobody messes with your children (but you), and in-laws need to know their place in your immediate family. You owe them nothing once they cross a delicate boundary.

The mother in this next story threatens to disinvite her brother-in-law when he continuously makes fun of her daughter for liking Taylor Swift. He purposely frustrates her, and does so to the point that the mother's 16-year-old son steps in and defends her. At least one male in the family knows how to act right. Of course, her brother-in-law refuses to apologize and goes nuclear. If only the mother's husband was there… BIL would be acting his age.

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  • "He started needling at [my daughter] by making fun of Taylor Swift using lots of childish name calling words..."
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    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • Children deserve respect just the same as adults. When an adult goes out of their way to poke fun at and frustrate a 9-year-old child, you know they don't have a good idea of fun. THere's nothing to gain from this very uneven power dynamic except a pat on the back from himself. The mother's little girl understands that not everyone enjoys Taylor Swift, but she doesn't understand why her uncle is going to such great lengths just to frustrate her. 

  • "AITA for telling my brother in law to stop picking on my kids or he’s not coming on vacation?"

    I have three kids, Rob (16m), Lisa (14f), Anne (9F). Lisa is aut tic, and her special interest is Taylor Swift. Rob and Anne go along
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  • with it and indulge her. They're good kids who care and support each other and Rob and yes Anne get attention and support for their interests too.
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  • My brother in law Hector's entire personality is trying to rile people. You know the whole "it's just a joke bro". Super childish but whatever "he's family." Except my husband is out of the country, so I guess he thinks he gets to do whatever he wants.
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  • A few weeks ago he started needling at Lisa by making fun of Taylor Swift using lots of childish name calling words, intentionally using the wrong word for fans and stuff. Just really immature
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  • kid stuff. Lisa knows that not everyone likes TS and some people even hate her. One of her best friends hates her. She's not unable to hear different opinions. She has her own I'm sure she'd LOVE to share with you all if you had 4 hours to spare.
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  • He would say "Well Swiffers did x y z" she would say "Uncle Hector it's Swifties" and he would say it again to needle at her. Rob was in the room, I was not. Rob said to him "Why do you keep using the wrong word, she told you the right word?"
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  • Hector said he can say whatever he wants and to "cry about it." Rob said "It just seems like you're going out of your way to upset Lisa"
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  • Rob asked her to finish what she was talking about and to ignore Hector. This is when I came into the room, and Hector waved at the kids and said "Roberta's getting real mad that someone's joking about mother (?)"
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  • (I wasn't in the room so I didn't hear the comment about me and Rob said I wouldn't get it) Before I could say anything Rob said "Bro did you really just call me a girl's name? Are you 12?"
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  • I put my hands up and said okay enough, Hector, stop. He said I'm raising soft kids who can't take a joke. I said he's being so effing rade and that he wouldn't be
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  • acting like this if my husband was home. I said that if he wants to still go with us to Colorado in the summer like we were planning, he has to stop NOW or he's not coming.
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    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • This set him off and he said I had no right to do that (yes I do) and that I'm being a controlling yak over Taylor Swift. I said no, f Taylor Swift, this is about you being mean to your niece. because her dad isn't home.
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  • He said f you and good luck next time we have a problem, we're on our own. He took his Costco chicken and left and I swear he must have immediately gone running to my MIL because
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  • she called me to ask for what really happened and sighed a lot. I asked her if I was overreacting and she said she just hopes we can work it out because that trip
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  • was all he had to look forward to since he was laid off from work. I HATE causing drama in the family so am I the a hole and I'm out of line?
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  • Perfect_Ring3489 Nta. You should be proud of your son for standing up for his sister. The bil does not deserve to go for being a nasty piece of work
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  • responsibility for their actions. I wouldn't want someone like that on a trip with me, or around my kids. Maybe he should worry less about looking forward to a trip and more about looking forward to being a better person. Please be assured that not tolerating poor behavior from a grown man isn't you starting drama.
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  • RoyallyOakie NTA...Is this man an adult? He has his mommy telephone you? You've given him the terms. He can decide how important this trip is to him. You're raising good kids who have each other's backs, so good on you for that.
    via RoyallyOakie

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family dynamics family drama aita kids reddit story family feud parenting uncle parent of the year family reddit thread daughter parent Reddit mom son parents children
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